My Story.....

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I love to read, write, play pool & help others. I love being with my 3 blessings! I have a gorgeous daughter, Meggan~23 and 2 handsome sons. Brian~20 and Joshua~16. I wouldn't be anything without my babies. They're my greatest accomplishment! 
I pray my words, pictures, and what I post about give you encouragement and help inspire you to love deeper and believe there is a life out there for you. You need to have faith and believe in YOU. 
I married a Soldier so I was a Military Wife for 17 yrs. and now we're divorced. I am part German, Irish, English, and Ukraine. Trying to focus on my writing. I'm working on my Memoir and Suspense Romance Novels. I want my story of abuse and my addictions  to help other woman and teens. I went through a lot of trauma growing up and still found joy and I know you can too!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

 There's just as many happy moments in our life, as there are bad moments. We sometimes miss those beautiful moments because we're to focused on the bad ones. Everyone goes through trials and heart ache, some worse than the others but you just need to not give up. Are you missing those beautiful moments with you're loved ones because your just so focused on when things will get better? 

 Everyone always says "I'll be happy once I start making more money or get a better house." We may only have this last day. We may never have more money or a better house, so we just need to prepared for that. Life will always have surprises and trials. We need to enjoy the day and not focus on the past or present. Just be in the moment and enjoy it with your loved ones.

 I know very well what it's like to allow something to get in the way of enjoying life and just being happy. I had severe depression which, I could not control. I was on medication for that, but it only helps so much. My husband and I struggled with finances and it caused arguments and fights that our kids had to see. I regret this so much, but when your so caught up in the moment, you can't stop. I did always have talks with my kids and we would sometimes watch a movie together or play board games. I loved board games. I just loved being with them, but a lot of my issues with my husband and my back pain caused me to not be there as much as I would have liked to. I was really struggling and had severe anxiety because my husband would choose to scream at the kids or just talk mean to them and that would set me in a fit. 

I started to isolate myself a lot. I was in severe pain because of a car accident and as a result, I have 2 herniated disks in my low back, scoliosis of the spine, all the ones in my neck are slipped, broken coccyx bone and I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have a hard time sitting on the couch long or even at a dining room table. My bed is the most comfortable for my back. We would have to sometimes play games on my bed. I hated that I was in pain and how it effected me as a parent. I could go places like we would always take them to the lake or park, but it started becoming more of an issue for me to be out long. But, I really enjoyed and miss going out for ice cream and going to the book store with my daughter to get coffee and books. 

 As parents we both messed up and made life much harder to enjoy. I say to you younger parents please don't make the mistake many parents do. Be with your kids and enjoy the time you have with them. They'll be all grown up fast and you won't know where the time went. I read so many parenting books trying to not make the mistakes my parents did. It was harder to not be so easily angered when your husband throws things at you and makes the kids feel unsafe. I was guilty of not shutting my mouth so it would end. But, in the end I know I raised my kids right and they're all loving, caring, and respectful. Not perfect and nobody is. I made sure I taught them manners even though I wasn't perfect. I tried with what I knew how so I forgive myself for not knowing how to change certain things. 

 I love my kids and I enjoyed those moments we did have together no matter what we were doing. I truly believe it was my calling to be a parent and I loved it. Maybe not every moment, but most of the time. We as parents though, tend to allow the busy part of life or the struggles get in the way of spending time with our kids. We even have to busy of schedules like making your kid do to many things like, soccer and baseball. Enjoy your time with them because time is very precious and so are your children. 

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships

What is Self-Injury, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation?

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Definition of Self-injury

Self-injury, also known as self-harm or self-mutilation, is defined as an act wherein someone deliberately hurts or injures themselves. Self-injury is most often used as a coping mechanism and is not an attempt at suicide. The practice is not limited to teens. Self-harm in adults also takes place and is not unusual.
It's a perplexing phenomenon with many names: self-injury, self-harm, self-mutilation, self-inflicted violence, self-cutting, and self-abuse to name some. Those who come across it - family members, friends, supporters - even many professionals - struggle to understand why people self-harm, and find the behavior disturbing and puzzling. Recent reports imply that it is reaching 'epidemic proportions,' particularly among young people. Furthermore, research suggests that it is a frequent companion to eating disorders, alcohol abuse and drug abuse, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, and dissociative disorders. Those caught in its clutches claim that self-injury is difficult to stop due to its highly addictive nature, or say they are reluctant to try because it helps them 'feel better,' 'more in control,' 'more real,' or simply 'it keeps them alive.'

What is Self-injury?

The definition of self-harm is easy to understand, but the act of self-injury might not be. Learn more about what self-mutilation is and is not.Self-injury is a way of dealing with very strong emotions. For some people, self-harm gives the relief that crying may provide for the rest of us. Some people who engage in self-mutilation feel they can't control highly angry and aggressive emotions. They become afraid that they may hurt someone, so they turn their aggression inwards to get relief.
People who self-harm may be defined as attention seekers. However, a person who engages in self-injury may believe this is the only way to communicate their distress. Attention-seeking may actually be their last motivation, as self-mutilation can be a hidden problem that goes on for years. Self-harming purely for attention is one of the big myths about self-injury.
Self-injury may start as a spur-of-the-moment outlet for anger and frustration (such as punching a wall) and then develop into a major way of coping with stress that, because it remains hidden, generates more stress. (read Cutting: Self-Mutilating to Release Emotional Stress)
The severity of self-harm doesn't necessarily relate to the severity of a person's underlying problems. Usually, as time passes, one of the effects of self-harm is that the person who is self-injuring becomes more accustomed to the pain they inflict on themselves and so they harm themselves more severely to get the same level of relief.
This spiral can lead to permanent injury and serious infections.

Self-Harm is Not Defined as Attempting Suicide

It's important to make a distinction between self-harm and attempted suicide, though people who self-mutilate often go on to attempt suicide.
In the case of attempted suicide, the harm caused is uncertain and possibly even invisible, such as in the case of ingesting pills. By contrast, in self-harm, the degree of harm is clear, predictable and often highly visible; such as in the case of cutting or burning.
Self-mutilation is also different than activities that happen to harm. Many people indulge in behavior that's harmful to themselves, such as smoking or drinking to excess, but people don't smoke to damage themselves – harm is an unfortunate side-effect. The reason they smoke is for pleasure, whereas people who self-injure intend to hurt themselves.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Healthy Smoothie Recipes | Women's Health Magazine

10 Tips for Weight Loss | FitnessRX for Women

                            Words and deeds

"Kind hearts are the gardens,
Kind thoughts are the roots,
Kind words are the flowers,
Kind deeds are the fruits.
Take care of your garden
And keep out the weeds,
Fill it with sunshine
Kind words and kind deeds."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow -

Sunday, June 22, 2014

 Yay! I got a lot of writing done today! I'm just really excited for this Memoir. I'm nervous baring my truth and being so raw but I know that when you and do, it helps someone else and when you bring dark into light, you heal. I'm not perfect and nobody is. I've made a lot of mistakes growing up and even at being a parent as well I made mistakes. I know all my issues will help some other teens and woman. That's all I care about. That's always been my passion. I always wanted to help teens. I've been through just about everything as a teenager. Rape, abortion, addictions, anger, and abuse. Even having difficult parents. My parents did the best they could with what little information they had about raising children. My parents weren't the worst by far. 
 This generation has a lot of parenting books and shows on TV that discuss it. I did that ever since I had my first child. My Meggan. I didn't want to screw my babies up so I read a lot of parenting books. Mainly from Dr. James Dobson. He's a Christian Author and his ways are just awesome and so true. I just had a hard time at actually sticking to what it said to do. It's hard to break habits and no matter how bad you don't want to be like your parents, it will come out because it's all you seen and grew up with. You learned those ways. You may not do everything but you will do some. I know I did with the yelling.
  I hated that my parents always yelled at us. Than, I was with abusive guys who would yell. I was always around it. I tried really hard. I read a lot and listened to sermons. I went to therapy myself. I made mistakes but I know I was a good Mother. I taught my three to have manners and be kind especially to disabled kids. I told them to stand up to bullies for themselves and others. I taught them to address parents by Miss or Mr. I hate the words "yes Mam" and "yes Sir". Like my best friend they would say Aunt Misty or Miss Misty. I taught my sons to be loving and protective of each other. My older son, Brian would always walk Joshua to his class and at lunchtime he would run up and give Brian a hug. 
 I focused on those key issues of being loving and sweet so I'm hoping they take that and treat their girlfriends with respect and kindness. I do know they have seen and heard me and Dwayne argue and yell. I would always ask him to lower his voice but he wouldn't so I just couldn't help scream back. He just made me so angry that I'm trying so hard and wanting us to be good role models for them and he just didn't care. I tried to tell him what I learned from reading but he would change the subject. Anyhow, I love my babies dearly and they are my greatest blessing in life
and wish like every parent does, that I did better than I did. But, I did what I knew how and I did my best. 




                                   "Relax in my healing"


  Relax in my healing, holy presence. Be still, while I transform your heart and mind. 
 Let go of cares and worries, so that you can receive My peace. Cease striving and know that I'm God.  
 Do not be like pharisees who multiplied regulations, creating their own form of "godliness." They got so wrapped up in their own rules ans lost sight of Me. Even today, man made rules about how to live the Christian life enslave many people. Their focus is on their performance, rather than on Me.
 It is through knowing Me intimately that you become like Me. This requires spending time alone with Me. Let go, relax, be still, and know that I'm God.