My Story.....

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I love to read, write, play pool & help others. I love being with my 3 blessings! I have a gorgeous daughter, Meggan~23 and 2 handsome sons. Brian~20 and Joshua~16. I wouldn't be anything without my babies. They're my greatest accomplishment! 
I pray my words, pictures, and what I post about give you encouragement and help inspire you to love deeper and believe there is a life out there for you. You need to have faith and believe in YOU. 
I married a Soldier so I was a Military Wife for 17 yrs. and now we're divorced. I am part German, Irish, English, and Ukraine. Trying to focus on my writing. I'm working on my Memoir and Suspense Romance Novels. I want my story of abuse and my addictions  to help other woman and teens. I went through a lot of trauma growing up and still found joy and I know you can too!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

 There's just as many happy moments in our life, as there are bad moments. We sometimes miss those beautiful moments because we're to focused on the bad ones. Everyone goes through trials and heart ache, some worse than the others but you just need to not give up. Are you missing those beautiful moments with you're loved ones because your just so focused on when things will get better? 

 Everyone always says "I'll be happy once I start making more money or get a better house." We may only have this last day. We may never have more money or a better house, so we just need to prepared for that. Life will always have surprises and trials. We need to enjoy the day and not focus on the past or present. Just be in the moment and enjoy it with your loved ones.

 I know very well what it's like to allow something to get in the way of enjoying life and just being happy. I had severe depression which, I could not control. I was on medication for that, but it only helps so much. My husband and I struggled with finances and it caused arguments and fights that our kids had to see. I regret this so much, but when your so caught up in the moment, you can't stop. I did always have talks with my kids and we would sometimes watch a movie together or play board games. I loved board games. I just loved being with them, but a lot of my issues with my husband and my back pain caused me to not be there as much as I would have liked to. I was really struggling and had severe anxiety because my husband would choose to scream at the kids or just talk mean to them and that would set me in a fit. 

I started to isolate myself a lot. I was in severe pain because of a car accident and as a result, I have 2 herniated disks in my low back, scoliosis of the spine, all the ones in my neck are slipped, broken coccyx bone and I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have a hard time sitting on the couch long or even at a dining room table. My bed is the most comfortable for my back. We would have to sometimes play games on my bed. I hated that I was in pain and how it effected me as a parent. I could go places like we would always take them to the lake or park, but it started becoming more of an issue for me to be out long. But, I really enjoyed and miss going out for ice cream and going to the book store with my daughter to get coffee and books. 

 As parents we both messed up and made life much harder to enjoy. I say to you younger parents please don't make the mistake many parents do. Be with your kids and enjoy the time you have with them. They'll be all grown up fast and you won't know where the time went. I read so many parenting books trying to not make the mistakes my parents did. It was harder to not be so easily angered when your husband throws things at you and makes the kids feel unsafe. I was guilty of not shutting my mouth so it would end. But, in the end I know I raised my kids right and they're all loving, caring, and respectful. Not perfect and nobody is. I made sure I taught them manners even though I wasn't perfect. I tried with what I knew how so I forgive myself for not knowing how to change certain things. 

 I love my kids and I enjoyed those moments we did have together no matter what we were doing. I truly believe it was my calling to be a parent and I loved it. Maybe not every moment, but most of the time. We as parents though, tend to allow the busy part of life or the struggles get in the way of spending time with our kids. We even have to busy of schedules like making your kid do to many things like, soccer and baseball. Enjoy your time with them because time is very precious and so are your children. 
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