How to Deal With and Overcome Low Self-Esteem

Posted on May 30, 2012 by Emily Roberts MA, LPC

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In trying to deal with low self-esteem, focus on the positive. When doing that, wefeel more positive, happier and self-assured, right? Our self-esteem is heightened when we are in a positive state of mind.

Let’s consider why it’s been difficult to overcome low self-esteem. The likelihood is that past events or a current trigger has left your self-esteem low, which contributes to your current state of mind, which for many of us can be negative.

The roots of your low self-esteem are not to be ignored, but for the purpose of moving into a happier mindset, let’s focus on the feelings you want to obtain today; happiness and higher self-esteem. By proactively shifting some of your negative behaviors and thoughts in the moment, you can increase your self-esteem tremendously and start to overcome low self-esteem.

Dealing with Low Self-Esteem

Don’t “Should” on Yourself

The first step in dealing with low self-esteem is to recognize the negative statements you are telling yourself.

• I should have…
• If only I would have…

These “-ould statements” are unproductive. They build up and make it difficult to overcome your low self-esteem (we all tend to go to this place on occasion, myself included). My suggestion: don’t should on yourself! This is not the way to deal with low self-esteem. This gets you looped into the low self-esteem cycle of thinking. Instead, focus on what you can do and move forward into positive thoughts. When you catch yourself “shoulding,” rephrase it to:

• “I am going to” or
• “Next time I will.”

Give yourself a break and focus on what you can do next time, not what happened in the past.

Overcome Low Self-Esteem Using Self-Care

Put yourself first with self-care. It may not seem like it, but this is an important step in trying to overcome low self-esteem. Self-care is a gentle reminder that you deserve to feel good and produces positive feelings inward, which radiates outward. Going to the gym, eating a healthy meal, watching that show that makes you laugh are examples of self-care. For me, self-care is taking time away from technology, taking a bubble bat or watching “Modern Family” while enjoying some ice cream. These are ways I support my body and my mind in feeling my best and they allow me to shift my focus into a positive mindset.

Get Out of Your Head

I know this can be difficult, but often times you have to change your surroundings or your current situation to shift your negative self-talk into a more positive conversation. My suggestion: get out of your head. I often times have to leave my desk, go on a walk, listen to music, call a good friend, meditate, or read something, but I don’t let my mood take over, I distract with loving, proactive activities.

Find out what activities help to increase your self-esteem and share them in the comments below. By you sharing your tools for dealing with and overcoming low self-esteem, you are helping others to find new methods for increasing their self-esteem.

You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on Google+and Twitter