My Writing and my Life Interrupted.

When I was 12, I had a desire to write, which was interrupted by: My home life, self esteem, drugs and alcohol, later on marriage and kids. Life got in the way. I started drinking and using cocaine at a young age. At 19 I had my baby girl and met a Soldier who I married later and had two sons. I got divorced after 17 yrs. There is beauty in the world, you just need to find it. I am now working on my Memoir knowing my honesty of what I've been through can help other woman.

Friday, June 27, 2014

10 Weird Beauty Tricks That Really Work | Beauty High

10 Weird Beauty Tricks That Really Work | Beauty High:

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Thursday, June 26, 2014

There's just as many happy moments in our life, as there are bad moments. We sometimes miss those beautiful moments because we're to focused on the bad ones. Everyone goes through trials and heart ache, some worse than the others but you just need to not give up. Are you missing those beautiful moments with you're loved ones because your just so focused on when things will get better?

Everyone always says "I'll be happy once I start making more money or get a better house." We may only have this last day. We may never have more money or a better house, so we just need to prepared for that. Life will always have surprises and trials. We need to enjoy the day and not focus on the past or present. Just be in the moment and enjoy it with your loved ones.

I know very well what it's like to allow something to get in the way of enjoying life and just being happy. I had severe depression which, I could not control. I was on medication for that, but it only helps so much. My husband and I struggled with finances and it caused arguments and fights that our kids had to see. I regret this so much, but when your so caught up in the moment, you can't stop. I did always have talks with my kids and we would sometimes watch a movie together or play board games. I loved board games. I just loved being with them, but a lot of my issues with my husband and my back pain caused me to not be there as much as I would have liked to. I was really struggling and had severe anxiety because my husband would choose to scream at the kids or just talk mean to them and that would set me in a fit.

I started to isolate myself a lot. I was in severe pain because of a car accident and as a result, I have 2 herniated disks in my low back, scoliosis of the spine, all the ones in my neck are slipped, broken coccyx bone and I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have a hard time sitting on the couch long or even at a dining room table. My bed is the most comfortable for my back. We would have to sometimes play games on my bed. I hated that I was in pain and how it effected me as a parent. I could go places like we would always take them to the lake or park, but it started becoming more of an issue for me to be out long. But, I really enjoyed and miss going out for ice cream and going to the book store with my daughter to get coffee and books.

As parents we both messed up and made life much harder to enjoy. I say to you younger parents please don't make the mistake many parents do. Be with your kids and enjoy the time you have with them. They'll be all grown up fast and you won't know where the time went. I read so many parenting books trying to not make the mistakes my parents did. It was harder to not be so easily angered when your husband throws things at you and makes the kids feel unsafe. I was guilty of not shutting my mouth so it would end. But, in the end I know I raised my kids right and they're all loving, caring, and respectful. Not perfect and nobody is. I made sure I taught them manners even though I wasn't perfect. I tried with what I knew how so I forgive myself for not knowing how to change certain things.

I love my kids and I enjoyed those moments we did have together no matter what we were doing. I truly believe it was my calling to be a parent and I loved it. Maybe not every moment, but most of the time. We as parents though, tend to allow the busy part of life or the struggles get in the way of spending time with our kids. We even have to busy of schedules like making your kid do to many things like, soccer and baseball. Enjoy your time with them because time is very precious and so are your children.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships

Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships:

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What is Self-Injury, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation?

Written by Natasha Tracy

biggersmallerreset

Definition of Self-injury

Self-injury, also known as self-harm or self-mutilation, is defined as an act wherein someone deliberately hurts or injures themselves. Self-injury is most often used as a coping mechanism and is not an attempt at suicide. The practice is not limited to teens. Self-harm in adults also takes place and is not unusual.

It's a perplexing phenomenon with many names: self-injury, self-harm, self-mutilation, self-inflicted violence, self-cutting, and self-abuse to name some. Those who come across it - family members, friends, supporters - even many professionals - struggle to understand why people self-harm, and find the behavior disturbing and puzzling. Recent reports imply that it is reaching 'epidemic proportions,' particularly among young people. Furthermore, research suggests that it is a frequent companion to eating disorders, alcohol abuse and drug abuse, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, and dissociative disorders. Those caught in its clutches claim that self-injury is difficult to stop due to its highly addictive nature, or say they are reluctant to try because it helps them 'feel better,' 'more in control,' 'more real,' or simply 'it keeps them alive.'

- Jan Sutton, author "Healing the Hurt Within: Understand Self-Injury and Self-Harm, and Heal the Emotional Wounds"

What is Self-injury?

The definition of self-harm is easy to understand, but the act of self-injury might not be. Learn more about what self-mutilation is and is not.

Self-injury is a way of dealing with very strong emotions. For some people, self-harm gives the relief that crying may provide for the rest of us. Some people who engage in self-mutilation feel they can't control highly angry and aggressive emotions. They become afraid that they may hurt someone, so they turn their aggression inwards to get relief.

People who self-harm may be defined as attention seekers. However, a person who engages in self-injury may believe this is the only way to communicate their distress. Attention-seeking may actually be their last motivation, as self-mutilation can be a hidden problem that goes on for years. Self-harming purely for attention is one of the big myths about self-injury.

Self-injury may start as a spur-of-the-moment outlet for anger and frustration (such as punching a wall) and then develop into a major way of coping with stress that, because it remains hidden, generates more stress. (read Cutting: Self-Mutilating to Release Emotional Stress)

The severity of self-harm doesn't necessarily relate to the severity of a person's underlying problems. Usually, as time passes, one of the effects of self-harm is that the person who is self-injuring becomes more accustomed to the pain they inflict on themselves and so they harm themselves more severely to get the same level of relief.

This spiral can lead to permanent injury and serious infections.

Self-Harm is Not Defined as Attempting Suicide

It's important to make a distinction between self-harm and attempted suicide, though people who self-mutilate often go on to attempt suicide.

In the case of attempted suicide, the harm caused is uncertain and possibly even invisible, such as in the case of ingesting pills. By contrast, in self-harm, the degree of harm is clear, predictable and often highly visible; such as in the case of cutting or burning.

Self-mutilation is also different than activities that happen to harm. Many people indulge in behavior that's harmful to themselves, such as smoking or drinking to excess, but people don't smoke to damage themselves – harm is an unfortunate side-effect. The reason they smoke is for pleasure, whereas people who self-injure intend to hurt themselves.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Healthy Smoothie Recipes | Women's Health Magazine

Healthy Smoothie Recipes | Women's Health Magazine:

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10 Tips for Weight Loss | FitnessRX for Women

10 Tips for Weight Loss | FitnessRX for Women:

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Words and deeds

"Kind hearts are the gardens,

Kind thoughts are the roots,

Kind words are the flowers,

Kind deeds are the fruits.

Take care of your garden

And keep out the weeds,

Fill it with sunshine

Kind words and kind deeds."

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow -

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Yay! I got a lot of writing done today! I'm just really excited for this Memoir. I'm nervous baring my truth and being so raw but I know that when you and do, it helps someone else and when you bring dark into light, you heal. I'm not perfect and nobody is. I've made a lot of mistakes growing up and even at being a parent as well I made mistakes. I know all my issues will help some other teens and woman. That's all I care about. That's always been my passion. I always wanted to help teens. I've been through just about everything as a teenager. Rape, abortion, addictions, anger, and abuse. Even having difficult parents. My parents did the best they could with what little information they had about raising children. My parents weren't the worst by far.
This generation has a lot of parenting books and shows on TV that discuss it. I did that ever since I had my first child. My Meggan. I didn't want to screw my babies up so I read a lot of parenting books. Mainly from Dr. James Dobson. He's a Christian Author and his ways are just awesome and so true. I just had a hard time at actually sticking to what it said to do. It's hard to break habits and no matter how bad you don't want to be like your parents, it will come out because it's all you seen and grew up with. You learned those ways. You may not do everything but you will do some. I know I did with the yelling.
I hated that my parents always yelled at us. Than, I was with abusive guys who would yell. I was always around it. I tried really hard. I read a lot and listened to sermons. I went to therapy myself. I made mistakes but I know I was a good Mother. I taught my three to have manners and be kind especially to disabled kids. I told them to stand up to bullies for themselves and others. I taught them to address parents by Miss or Mr. I hate the words "yes Mam" and "yes Sir". Like my best friend they would say Aunt Misty or Miss Misty. I taught my sons to be loving and protective of each other. My older son, Brian would always walk Joshua to his class and at lunchtime he would run up and give Brian a hug.
I focused on those key issues of being loving and sweet so I'm hoping they take that and treat their girlfriends with respect and kindness. I do know they have seen and heard me and Dwayne argue and yell. I would always ask him to lower his voice but he wouldn't so I just couldn't help scream back. He just made me so angry that I'm trying so hard and wanting us to be good role models for them and he just didn't care. I tried to tell him what I learned from reading but he would change the subject. Anyhow, I love my babies dearly and they are my greatest blessing in life

and wish like every parent does, that I did better than I did. But, I did what I knew how and I did my best.

"Relax in my healing"

Relax in my healing, holy presence. Be still, while I transform your heart and mind.
Let go of cares and worries, so that you can receive My peace. Cease striving and know that I'm God.
Do not be like pharisees who multiplied regulations, creating their own form of "godliness." They got so wrapped up in their own rules ans lost sight of Me. Even today, man made rules about how to live the Christian life enslave many people. Their focus is on their performance, rather than on Me.
It is through knowing Me intimately that you become like Me. This requires spending time alone with Me. Let go, relax, be still, and know that I'm God.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

When you laugh while being tickled, what you are experiencing is actually a form of panic.

If you’re ticklish, you know the automatic laugh response that occurs when you are tickled. This can range from giggling to uncontrollable shrieks of laughter. However, your body is actually responding with panic and anxiety.

This is actually the body’s defense mechanism. It is believed that the response is meant to protect you from dangerous things on your skin, such as poisonous insects. The body needs to react quickly to this unanticipated touch and does so with a panic response.

Read more at http://www.omgfacts.com/top?&redirectfrom=www.omg-facts.com#wS0YvAudvJUYrwF7.99

Jellyfish evaporate in the sun. They're 98% water!

When jellyfish are in the water, they can be a bit intimidating. Their tentacles can pack a painful electrical shock. However, once they wash up on shore, they are anything but intimidating.

It turns out that jellyfish are 98% water. Most are transparent and bell-shaped. If they end up on the beach, they will most likely evaporate in a few hours and mostly disappear.

Jellyfish also don’t have brains, bones or a heart. They do have rudimentary sensory nerves though.

Read more at http://www.omgfacts.com/top?&redirectfrom=www.omg-facts.com#wS0YvAudvJUYrwF7.99

Monday, June 16, 2014

Addiction Is a Mental Illness. Treat It That Way.

Many addicts have mental health problems, and all have complex reasons for using substances. In order to effectively address both the addiction and what drives it, providers require training and skills in psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy for addiction photo via

By Scott Kellogg and Andrew Tatarsky

02/26/13

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The recent suicide of country singer Mindy McCready brings the death toll of patients who were treated onCelebrity Rehab to five. On Monday, Fix columnist Maia Szalavitz questioned the effectiveness and ethics of Dr. Drew’s specific approach. But McCready’s death also calls for us to reflect more generally on the nature of addiction and its treatment. In addition, the loss of these five entertainers and public figures speaks to how devastating both addiction and mental illness remain as well as how our society conceives of addiction.

The DSM-IV-TR and the upcoming revision, DSM-V, due out in May, define addictions to alcohol and drugs as psychiatric disorders. Nora Volkow, MD, the director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse,agrees, saying, “We need to first recognize that drug addiction is a mental illness." This focus on mental health also conforms to research increasingly revealing the many ways that addiction is a brain disease.

By contrast, Alcoholics Anonymous has been centered on a model of alcoholism established before the development of this kind of disease paradigm, and it has not espoused clinically complex models of psychological motivation. As AA cofounder Dr. Bob told attendees at a 1950 AA convention: “There are two or three things that flashed into my mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little emphasis; one is the simplicity of our program. Let’s not louse it up with Freudian complexes and things that are interesting to the scientific mind, but have very little to do with our actual AA work.”

Our own approach to addiction, which we call Integrative Addiction Psychotherapy, is based on the following assumptions:

• Addictions are psychiatric/mental health disorders.

• Many, if not most, addicts also have additional psychiatric issues such as PTSD, depression, anxiety disorders, psychosis, ADHD, and various personality disorders.

• With or without a diagnosable condition, people use substances for reasons that need to be respected and addressed.

• The treatment of addictions require professionals trained in mental health, skilled in psychotherapy, knowledgeable about the full range of psychological treatments, and fluent in the use of both addiction and psychiatric medications. Passion and dedication are important, but they do not make up for deep skill and knowledge.

What does an Integrative Addiction Psychotherapy based on these assumptions look like? Building on themes that were addressed in a previous Fix article and a related article on addiction treatment reform, we believe there are seven essential components:

1. Individual Psychotherapy: Each patient is unique and treatment must be individualized to address their specific needs, history, biology, pain, dreams and desires. While group experiences may be very powerful, even life changing, the integrity and depth of the individual psychotherapy session remains a uniquely curative experience—and the cornerstone of this approach.

2. Therapeutic Alliance: The connection between the patient and the therapist is of vital importance as it is at the heart of treatment. Good therapists will demonstrate love for their patients and will work with authenticity, optimism, courage and determination. Research in both addiction treatment and psychotherapy show the positive benefits of patients having a good relationship with their therapists.

3. Drug Use Is Meaningful: As noted earlier, people use substances for complex and deep-seated reasons that may need to be addressed before the individual will be willing to make changes in their use. Drugs may serve as a pathway to pleasure, as a way to reduce inner pain and suffering, as a method for coping with medical problems, as a vehicle for making and affirming social connection, and as a response to social oppression and poverty.

4. Multiplicity of Self: People who use drugs often have conflicting motivational forces at work—some of which support the continued use, others that fight for change. The motivations for change might include concerns about the family, anxiety related to economic or prestige threats, existential or spiritual concerns, health issues and legal problems. This inner conflict can be usefully re-conceptualized as a community of voices, modes, selves or parts. In this way, each of these energies can be respected and given a chance to speak, and dialogues can be created among the different parts to address their needs and desires.

People have complex motivations for their substance use. These may need to be addressed before the individual is willing to make changes in their use.

5. Strengthening the Inner Leader: Identifying, connecting with and empowering the Inner Leader—sometimes called the healthy adult mode or the strong and healthy ego—can work to rebalance the inner forces. The individual can then make positive connections with others and take assertive, effective and meaningful action in the world. The Inner Leader of addicted patients is often underdeveloped or severely damaged, so strengthening it will remain an ongoing concern. To be clear, the healthy mode will be distinguished by its use of existential language such as “I want,” “I am deciding to,” “I am choosing to,” “I will,” “I say yes,” and “I say no”—rather than the use of phrases like “I have to,” “I need to,” and “I should.”

6. Working on Two Dimensions: Complex models of treatment, like Integrated Harm Reduction Psychotherapy, require therapists to work on two dimensions: both the use itself and the underlying pain and desires that drive it. Sometimes one will take precedence; sometimes both need to be addressed concurrently. Given this, it can be helpful to conceive of the work as involving bothHorizontal and Vertical interventions. 

Horizontal Interventions are techniques and strategies specifically focused on such issues as safer use, reduced use, moderation, nonaddictive use and abstinence, including Harm Reduction/Substance Use Management, Relapse Prevention and Contingency Management. The goal is to empower the patient to be able to control their use in a way that makes sense for them. For many, if not most, this will ultimately be abstinence. 

Vertical Interventions are those involved in treating the patient’s pain and underlying psychopathology. Addicts may suffer from problems connected to the past (trauma, grief and moral failure), the present (depression, anxiety disorders, lack of assertiveness and personality disorders) or the future (life decisions, identity creation, the project of recovery and the need to embark on the Hero’s Journey). The therapist will want to be able to skillfully draw upon the full range of psychotherapeutic techniques to help the patient make connections, restructure cognitions, face feared experiences, work through traumas, mitigate the impact of the inner critic, claim power, clarify values, take heroic action, and learn to meditate and self-soothe.

7. Identity Transformation: While a great deal of addiction treatment is, understandably, focused on the present and the near future, long-term recovery depends on the ability of the individual to create and maintain identities that are viable, meaningful and reinforcing. The Addict Identity, which is central during active addiction, must be replaced with identities based on some connection to family, work, recovery, spirituality or other activities that provide a self-definition that is incompatible with problematic drug use. (For example, being a father takes precedence over using cocaine.) Most stories of successful recovery and life transformation involve some sort of identity reorganization or creation.

Mindy McCready was ultimately overwhelmed and destroyed by the pain inside of her. While psychiatrists and psychologists made occasional appearances on Celebrity Rehab, none of the major protagonists were mental health providers or had extensive formal training in psychotherapy. We believe that Dr. Drew Pinsky cares deeply about his patients and is dedicated to helping them achieve healing and recovery; nonetheless, his training is in addiction medicine and, while naturally skilled, he is not a trained psychotherapist.

It is our hope that the leaders and practitioners in our field will embrace the future by working to fully integrate mental health and addiction treatment—both in the therapy we do and in the paradigms we create—so that we can understand and work with the complex interplay that exists between inner suffering and addictive behavior. Addiction is a mental illness.

Scott Kellogg, PhD, is the former president of the Division on Addictions of the New York State Psychological Association, a Schema Therapist, and a clinical assistant professor in the New York University Department of Psychology. His websites are Transformational Chairwork andGradualism and Integrative Addiction Psychotherapy. His email is scott.kellogg@nyu.edu.

Andrew Tatarsky, PhD, is the author of Harm Reduction Psychotherapy: A New Treatment for Drug and Alcohol Problems. He is the founder of the Center for Optimal Living, an addiction treatment center in New York City, and the chair of Moderation Management. His email is atatarsky@aol.com

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Worthless or Worthy: How Do You See Yourself?

by Joyce Meyer

Do you like yourself? After years of trying to help people emotionally, mentally, spiritually and socially, it was a major breakthrough when I discovered that most people really don't like themselves. Some of them know it, while others don't even have a clue that this is probably the root of so many other problems in their lives.

God wants us to have great relationships, but self-rejection and even self-hatred are the roots of many relationship problems. In fact, I've found the Bible to be a book about relationships, providing valuable advice about my relationship with God, other people and even myself.

How are the relationships with other people in your life? What about your relationship with God…and even with yourself?

Did it ever occur to you that you have a relationship with yourself? While I've never given it much thought, I spend more time with myself than with anyone, and it's vital to get along well with me. Remember, you are the one person you never get away from.

We all know how agonizing it is to work day after day with someone we don't get along with, but at least that person doesn't come home with us at night. We can't get away from ourselves, not even for one second, so it's of the utmost importance that we have peace with ourselves.

Many of us fall prey to self-rejection because we feel that nobody really loves us or accepts us. We figure that if nobody else loves us, then why should we love ourselves? Because we think others don't love us, we feel that we must not be worth loving. But that's a LIE we've believed for way too long!

We should love ourselves—not in a selfish, self-centered way that produces a lifestyle of self-indulgence, but in a balanced, godly way that affirms God's creation as essentially good and right. We may be flawed by unfortunate experiences we've gone through, but that doesn't mean we're worthless and good-for-nothing.

We must have the kind of love for ourselves that says, "I know God loves me, so I can love what God chooses to love. I don't love everything I do, but I accept myself because God accepts me." We must develop the kind of mature love that says, "I know I need to change, and I want to change. In fact, I believe God is changing me daily, but during this process, I will not reject what God accepts. I'll accept myself as I am right now, knowing that I will not always remain this way."

Many times people who reject themselves do so because they can't see themselves as good, proper, or right. They fail to see themselves the way God sees them—as precious children He dearly loves.

As you begin to see yourself through God's eyes—someone who's loved and cherished—your view of yourself will begin to change. You'll begin to see yourself not as rejected, but as loved and accepted…unique and beautiful in His sight.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Your Feelings are Important

From a very early age most of us have been told over and over again that what we feel isn't important. As a result, we've learned to suppress, deny and mask our feelings. We get so good at this that we actually lose t

ouch with our heart and live in the world of our head and thoughts. When asked how we feel, we respond from our head, not our heart.

This website is dedicated to the idea that the feelings of your heart are important. First of all, feelings are important because they are connected to your needs. When you deny your feelings, you are denying your needs as a human being. And, when we belittle the feelings of others we are telling them that their needs aren’t important.

Secondly, our feelings, more than our thoughts, drive our choices in life. Our primary goal is to feel good. We get into relationships because we want to feel good, which is why our heart, not our head, controls with whom we chose to associate. We buy things because we perceive that they will give us good feelings, too. Every successful marketer knows that marketing is primarily about feelings. We even pursue goals because we perceive that achieving them will make us feel good. If we are out of touch with our feelings, we are easily manipulated emotionally and wound up making foolish choices because we don’t understand what is motivating us in our heart.

Thirdly, as the author Karol Truman stated in the title of her book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. What we allow ourselves to feel and deal with we can get over and heal from, but what we deny haunts us forever. Most of us spend a great deal of time running away from our feelings.

Finally, it is the heart, not the head that helps us to lead a moral and a spiritual life. When we have a hardened heart, we lack compassion and empathy for others. When our heart is closed and we are living in our heads, we are more likely to cause harm to others because our head can rationalize just about anything. An open heart teaches us to love, forgive, be kind and compassionate. An open heart also allows us to access the spiritual plane and hear the still, small voice of God that can guide and comfort us.

This website is dedicated to helping people understand their feelings and learn how to heal their emotional wounds. Discover why the heart, not the head, is the ultimate key to your health, happiness and success.

"How do I interact with guys just as a friend?"

Erin Davis 02/18/11
Category: Guys ; 93 comments

At the beginning of this month, I asked you to tell me your most burning questions when it comes to guys and romance. One question that popped up often was, "How do I interact with guys just as a friend/Christian sister?" We also saw a lot of a similar question: "Is it okay to become friends with a guy to see if they'd make a good husband?"

I am so glad you're asking these questions! I want you to understand the difference between standing firm in your commitment to purity (a very, very good thing) and being standoffish toward the guys in your life (not such a good thing). Sometimes girls' ministry leaders (myself included) make the mistake of encouraging firm boundaries so often that we forget to encourage Christ-like interactions with the guys in your life.

Yes, you can have friends who are guys and yes, friendship is a great way to discover if a guy would make a great husband. Nowhere in Scripture does God call men and women to be so completely separated that that there is no room for interaction. Also, when we encourage you to wait on God's timing for romance, we aren't saying that you should lock yourself away from all guys until the perfect man drops into your house with a ring.

Marriage isn't the only relationship where it is appropriate for guys and girls to interact. Think about your dad. How do you spend time with him? You talk. You hang out. You eat together. You do things you both enjoy. I am sure there are other guys in your life that you have healthy interactions with as well. Just because you are a girl spending time with a guy doesn't mean romantic music will start playing in the background and butterflies will start swarming in your stomach.

In fact, Scripture tells us that we are to interact with each other in a loving and warm way regardless of gender. Here's just a taste of what the Bible says about how we are to treat each other.

"Love one another" (John 13:34), and 12 other references. 
"Be devoted to one another in love" (Rom. 12:10). 
"Honor one another above yourselves" (Rom. 12:10). 
"Live in harmony with one another" (Rom. 12:16). 
"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you" (Rom. 15:7). 
"Have equal concern for each other" (1 Cor. 12:25). 
"Serve one another humbly in love" (Gal. 5:13). 
"Carry each other's burdens" (Gal. 6:2). 
"Be patient, bearing with one another in love" (Eph. 4:2). 
"Be kind and compassionate to one another" (Eph. 4:32). 
"Forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Eph. 4:32). 
"Speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit" (Eph. 5:19). 
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Eph. 5:21). 
"In humility value others above yourselves" (Phil. 2:3). 
"Bear with each other" (Col. 3:13).  
"Make your love increase and overflow for each other" (1 Thess. 3:12). 
"Encourage one another" (1 Thess. 4:18, 5:11). 
"Build each other up" (1 Thess. 5:11). 
"Encourage one another daily" (Heb. 3:13)
"Spur one another on to love and good deeds" (Heb. 10:24).
"Encouraging one another (Heb. 10:25). 
"Love one another deeply, from the heart" (1 Pet. 1:22)
"Be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another" (1 Pet. 3:8). 
"Love each other deeply" (1 Pet. 4:8). 
"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling" (1 Pet. 4:9). 
"Each one should use whatever gift you have received to serve others" (1 Pet. 4:10). 
"Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another" (1 Pet. 5:5).

The Bible clearly teaches us to be warm, kind, and loving toward our Christian brothers, not cold or standoffish. You can be friends with the guys. In fact, youshould be friends with guys. God has called you to be kind, encouraging, patient, and concerned with all of the people around you regardless of their gender. Putting these skills into practice in your relationships now can only help prepare you for marriage in the future.

Bottom line girls: treating others well is always okay. Guys aren't the enemy. They were created in the image of God just like you were. What's more, Christian guys are adopted into the same family you are. They are your spiritual brothers and treating them well isn't just okay, it's commanded.

For more on healthy boundaries in guy/girl friendships, check out a post from our archives here.

Keep the great questions coming. I look forward to answering them armed with the truth of God's Word.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to