Thursday, May 15, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Friday, May 9, 2014
10 Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs to Hear | Christian Marriage Articles | Growthtrac
I’m now in my third marriage. When people learn this fact about me, their reaction is usually pretty awkward. It’s almost as if they’re waiting for me to be embarrassed by my admission. While going through two divorces was some of the most painful times of my life, I’d only feel ashamed if I’d gone through it without being able to say I’ve learned a thing or two. My husband and I had both been through divorce before we married each other, and with that brings a unique perspective into many do’s and don’ts of how to treat your spouse.
Don’t get me wrong — our marriage isn’t perfect, but our failures in past relationships have shaped decisions we make about the way we treat each other, and to be honest, I’m glad I went through it. We’ve learned better, so now we do better.
And with that, I’d like to offer up my wise marriage tips — from a woman who has triumphed the murky waters of divorce.
1. Respect your husband. Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife. The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that you have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me — when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences with respect. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
2. Guard your heart. The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and be thankful. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling — relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough. There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier, but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.
3. God, husband, kids…in that order. I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means.
When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me — I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.
4. Forgive. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit — for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter) — you will keep resentment from growing.
5. Over-communicate. I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they don’t always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.
6. Schedule a regular date night. This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse. Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.
7. Never say the “D Word”. If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.
8. Learn his love language. Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and use it.
9. Never talk negatively about him. I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective. News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!
10. Choose to love. There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times and in bad”, implying that there will be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.
Read more at Growthtrac 10 Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs to Hear | Christian Marriage Articles | Growthtrac http://www.growthtrac.com/10-marriage-tips-every-wife-needs-to-hear/#ixzz33hCDhh00
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Self-confidence
Self-confidence starts with you. If you weren't parented to love yourself, or other relationships have torn you away from yourself then self-confidence must be your own commitment and internal investment. We all want to feel good. We all want to succeed and we all want joy. To have this you have to remember that YOU are a precious person. You are amazing. You are significant. You are smart. You are capable of anything and everything. If you haven't been told this, then you must start on your own to believe it. Life happens to all of us. We ALL have an intense amount of painful things happen to us throughout a life. No one is exempt from life’s sharper edges. What makes the difference in how you go through life is your commitment and investment in yourself. You are significant just because you are you. Believe in yourself, dare to reach the edges of your beliefs and rise above them. No one can get in your way but you. No matter your situation you can stand tall. You can face it. You can look anyone in the eyes because you know who you are. You can say no when you need to because you value the investment you make in yourself. The only person that can stand in your way, in reality, is you. Get up! Dig deep and keep moving. You will hurt. That’s ok. It’s not the end of the world. Just keep moving. There isn’t anyone out there who can stop your greatness. It doesn’t matter what people say about you. All that matters is what you think about yourself. Keep your power... do not give it away. Invest in you. Love yourself. YOU GOT THIS!
Sherrie Campbell
Saturday, April 12, 2014
It hurts so bad that I don't get to see my kids. Dwayne, my ex-husband, kicked my daughter out a month after he kicked me out. He's not her biological father, so I know that hurt her. He than gave my sisters son back to his Nana. We were watching him for a year while my sister was having issues. My daughter said while she was there, after I left, he talked so much trash on me. He brainwashed them into believing I'm a bad mom. Who does that to their children? I made sure when my sons came to visit me that I never talked bad about their father in front of them. He's still their father and I wouldn't do that. It hurts but I know my kids will be able to figure this whole thing out as they get older and they'll resent him for doing this.
He was cheating on me because not even three months later he was with one of his Sgts. from the National Guard. He was rushing me to sign seperation papers and like my dad said, because he was in a hurry to get married. He did several months later. He moves fast like he did when he first met me. He threw a ring at me proposing to me after only two weeks of knowing each other. He accepted my daughter. He's a rescuer. He likes to rescue woman. So, this is what he did again. She has a three year old also that he wanted to rescue. It's strange that he wanted to renew our vowels and than the next month was telling me to leave. He chose to tell my sons lies about me and it's just hurtful because they stopped calling and coming to see me. You think he would tell them that they need their mother and should see me. I don't mean force them but he should encourage them because they will always need their mother.
He can say the worst things about me all he wants because their going to figure the truth out and see him for what he really is. It's destroyed me to leave them and my dog. I am slowly healing but after 2 years it just still kills me. It feels like they've been kidnapped. Here I was a mom and wife for seventeen years and now my kids have ripped away from me. I tried being nice to him for the kids sake but he was just interested in poisoning their minds against me and just erasing me out of their life. He just wants to look like he didn't destroy the family and did nothing wrong. I'm not perfect and I wasn't a perfect mom or wife but I did try. I even read self help books trying to keep our family together. He wanted a new family. He got violent with me the whole year before I left. He threw things at me and if I didn't duck, he would have hit me in my face. I knew it was time to go because the kids couldn't keep seeing this violence and hearing us argue. So, I lost myself and became so depressed. I started drinking again for a year almost every night. I'm done with that now though. I'm sober. I know my sons will see and understand more later. My daughter is moving to California so that's killing me also. I want her to enjoy her life but I just wish she wasn't moving so far away. She's my miracle baby and I love her so much. So, that's pretty much happened. I'm working on myself now and I know I'll get through this very hard time in my life. I feel like a nothing without my kids but I know I'll see them soon enough.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
"Faith For Dark Days"
When dark days come-and they come to us all-we feel so helpless and lost and small.
We cannot fathom the reason why, and it is futile for us try. To find the answer, the reason or cause,
For the master plan is without any flaws. And when the darkness shuts out the light, We must lean on Faith, to restore our sight. For there is nothing we need to know, if we have faith wherever we go God will be there to help us bear our disappointments, pain and care. For He is our Shepard, our Father, our guide, and your never alone with the Lord at your side. So may the great physician attend you, And may his healing completely mend you.
When dark days come-and they come to us all-we feel so helpless and lost and small.
We cannot fathom the reason why, and it is futile for us try. To find the answer, the reason or cause,
For the master plan is without any flaws. And when the darkness shuts out the light, We must lean on Faith, to restore our sight. For there is nothing we need to know, if we have faith wherever we go God will be there to help us bear our disappointments, pain and care. For He is our Shepard, our Father, our guide, and your never alone with the Lord at your side. So may the great physician attend you, And may his healing completely mend you.
Monday, March 3, 2014
"Fix Your Heart"
Your past can cause you to look at life in a bad way. A little girl that was abused learns to defend herself by not trusting men. You'll have that defensive attitude accompany you into adulthood. If you've successfully protected yourself in certain ways in the past, it's natural to keep that pattern throughout life.
Many people live in co-dependent relationships. Others are anesthetized to their problems because they've had them so long.
Maybe you've become so accustomed to your problems that even when you have the chance to be delivered from it, you find it hard to let go. Problems can become like a security blanket.
Just like the infirm woman in Luke 13 was completely healed by Jesus' touch. She couldn't help herself no matter how hard she tried. He set her free and took away her excuse. Hearing him say, " Woman,thou art loosed from thine infirmity," required something of her that she hadn't had to deal with before. For eighteen years she had excused herself because she was handicapped. But at the moment He told her the problem was gone, she had no excuse.
Before you get out of trouble, you need to straighten out your attitude. Until your attitude is corrected, you can't be corrected. One woman I pastured was rather obnoxious. When I prayed about the matter, God allowed me to meet her husband. Seeing his nasty attitude towards her, I understood why, when she reached down into her reservoir, all she had stored was hostility. That's all she had taken in, so that's all she could give.
You want everyone to make allowance for your problem, but the truth is that your problem needs to make allowance for God. As the Bible says in 1 Chronicles 29:18, you've got to fix your thoughts, your attitude,
your whole heart on the living God. You can't expect the whole human race to move over because you had a bad childhood. They won't do it. And you'll just end up depressed frustrated, and confused.
Jesus wants to separate you from the source of your bitterness until it no longer makes you a carrier of pain.
Your attitude is what affects your situation-not other peoples attitudes towards you. Let go your old attitudes, fix your heart on God, and let him make you whole.
Pastor TD Jakes
Before you get out of trouble, you need to straighten out your attitude. Until your attitude is corrected, you can't be corrected. One woman I pastured was rather obnoxious. When I prayed about the matter, God allowed me to meet her husband. Seeing his nasty attitude towards her, I understood why, when she reached down into her reservoir, all she had stored was hostility. That's all she had taken in, so that's all she could give.
You want everyone to make allowance for your problem, but the truth is that your problem needs to make allowance for God. As the Bible says in 1 Chronicles 29:18, you've got to fix your thoughts, your attitude,
your whole heart on the living God. You can't expect the whole human race to move over because you had a bad childhood. They won't do it. And you'll just end up depressed frustrated, and confused.
Jesus wants to separate you from the source of your bitterness until it no longer makes you a carrier of pain.
Your attitude is what affects your situation-not other peoples attitudes towards you. Let go your old attitudes, fix your heart on God, and let him make you whole.
Pastor TD Jakes
Friday, February 28, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
I wanted to share this with everyone because I'm going through so much hell right now and I know it helps me to read these and get encouraged. I love to help and encourage other woman and I hope I can do this especially when I finally get my Memoir published. I want to tell my friends to never give up on your dreams and life. Things may be hard but keep pushing on because you have the strength within you whether you believe it or not. Your all always in my prayers, Lisa Palmer
If you are suffering allow it to come. A life lesson is certainly here for a visit. Don't run from it or you will miss a tremendous opportunity to grow. Suffering is a part of life, and your job is to brave the storm by staying true to yourself. When staying true to yourself means you have to make difficult and life changing decisions in your relationship world whether that be familial, friendship, marriage etc. you have to trust that if you are living in your truth that the decision you make will be intelligent and in the highest good for all involved. No matter how hard people may try, never let them knock you down. You are built with a power within you that nothing can touch. We do not need to have our fears out in front. We need to realize that what is inside will never let us crumble. We will certainly stumble in the face of life changing decisions and may fly for a while with bad aim and broken wings, but we can get back up and be stronger than we were before. When we suffer and we persevere, make hard and confusing decisions, follow through, stay tough-minded and stop caring about the judgements of others, in time we will be rewarded in ways beyond what we could ever imagine. Whatever storm we are in, it will eventually run out of rain. When we are true and genuine in our pursuits all of our pain will be seen and made up to us in every way possible. New life and new love are waiting to find you. That way, when things begin to make sense after we have remained tall in learning our lesson we will be grateful it all happened. Stay true to you and power-on with endurance and action. Love yourself.
Sherrie Campbell
If you are suffering allow it to come. A life lesson is certainly here for a visit. Don't run from it or you will miss a tremendous opportunity to grow. Suffering is a part of life, and your job is to brave the storm by staying true to yourself. When staying true to yourself means you have to make difficult and life changing decisions in your relationship world whether that be familial, friendship, marriage etc. you have to trust that if you are living in your truth that the decision you make will be intelligent and in the highest good for all involved. No matter how hard people may try, never let them knock you down. You are built with a power within you that nothing can touch. We do not need to have our fears out in front. We need to realize that what is inside will never let us crumble. We will certainly stumble in the face of life changing decisions and may fly for a while with bad aim and broken wings, but we can get back up and be stronger than we were before. When we suffer and we persevere, make hard and confusing decisions, follow through, stay tough-minded and stop caring about the judgements of others, in time we will be rewarded in ways beyond what we could ever imagine. Whatever storm we are in, it will eventually run out of rain. When we are true and genuine in our pursuits all of our pain will be seen and made up to us in every way possible. New life and new love are waiting to find you. That way, when things begin to make sense after we have remained tall in learning our lesson we will be grateful it all happened. Stay true to you and power-on with endurance and action. Love yourself.
Sherrie Campbell
.png)
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Giving is the key to Living
Every day is a reason for giving and giving is the key to living. So let us give ourselves away, Not just today but every day, and remember, a kind and thoughtful deed Or a hand outstretched in a time of need Is the rarest of gifts, for it is a part, Not of the purse but of a living heart. And he who gives of himself will find True joy of heart and peace of mind.
Every day is a reason for giving and giving is the key to living. So let us give ourselves away, Not just today but every day, and remember, a kind and thoughtful deed Or a hand outstretched in a time of need Is the rarest of gifts, for it is a part, Not of the purse but of a living heart. And he who gives of himself will find True joy of heart and peace of mind.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)