My Story.....

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I love to read, write, play pool & help others. I love being with my 3 blessings! I have a gorgeous daughter, Meggan~23 and 2 handsome sons. Brian~20 and Joshua~16. I wouldn't be anything without my babies. They're my greatest accomplishment! 
I pray my words, pictures, and what I post about give you encouragement and help inspire you to love deeper and believe there is a life out there for you. You need to have faith and believe in YOU. 
I married a Soldier so I was a Military Wife for 17 yrs. and now we're divorced. I am part German, Irish, English, and Ukraine. Trying to focus on my writing. I'm working on my Memoir and Suspense Romance Novels. I want my story of abuse and my addictions  to help other woman and teens. I went through a lot of trauma growing up and still found joy and I know you can too!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

                                          "Living With A Chronic Illness"



     When I opened my eyes, all I saw was dark and rain drizzling on me. I looked around to see what happened and where I was. I was on the wet ground and realized that we were in a car accident. I tried to get up but some pain was stopping me from moving. I had a severe pain by my pelvis. I heard Dave call for me. He came by my side holding his rib.  

 "Lisa, stop moving your hurt. You may hurt yourself more if you keep trying to get up. Just lay still until the ambulance gets here". 
 "Are you OK?" I asked Dave. 
 "My ribs hurt. Think I broke some ribs." 

I wasn't afraid of dying at all for some reason. I remember that I hated laying in the wet mud. The fire station was right across the street so they were fast getting there. I was going in and out of consciousness. I heard the sirens and I than remembered them cutting my clothes off. It upset me because I was saying "no, not my favorite daisy duke shorts and half top." Only I would be dying and only care about my clothes, ha ha. 

 The next memory was them asking Dave for my parents phone number and one of them said, "she's not gonna make it." I could have went into shock with him saying that. My husband had told me they're not aloud to say that but he did. I still wasn't worried. I kept going in and out but for some reason I wasn't worried. I truly believe my Angel was there to keep me alive and I guess she kept me calm. My next memory was waking up in the hospital and they were pushing me on the gurney and my parents were there. My dad always worried about me brushing my teeth when I was growing up and so he asked the nurse if all my teeth were broken out. She said no, it's just blood and mud that make it look like that. Only my Daddy. So, I remembered them moving me from the gurney to the MRI machine because I screamed in pain! Laying on that hard board killed my back. Then I remember them putting a breathing tube down my throat. They told me to swallow as they were putting it in. I hated that. That was the worst. 

 Dave and I were drinking that night and he smoked pot. It was storming out and his parents ran out of gas coming back from the beach, so we had to go bring them some gas. It was pouring out so I was afraid and laid down on his lap. We came up to a light but the lights were all out, so he just went on. We were hit on my side and the car went airborne and than hit a curb and than wrapped around the pole. I fell out of the car while it was airborne. I landed by the drivers side. If I had my seat belt on, I would have been crushed. 

 I was in the hospital for a week.  I had a fractured pelvis and herniated disk in my low back. I also had retrograde and post grade amnesia. I wasn't allowed to see my face for the first three days. That really scared me. I had cut marks all over my face from the glass. I had glass in my hair and blood. I had cuts all over and bruises. When the car was airborne, I fell out. So, I had a huge black and purple bruise from my booty up to the middle of my back some. I had a deep long gash down the side of my thigh and the same exact one on my other thigh. I hated when the nurses would come in my room at 2 am and have to clean my wounds. That was the worst pain! They had to pour distilled water in it and that medicine. It was painful. Dave's mom took better care of me than the nurses. I had glass in my hair and blood and so she brought in dry shampoo and washed my hair and got all the glass out. She also let me see my face with the mirror she brought. I wasn't able to walk, so the first three days I couldn't see it because I had to use a potty pan. When I saw my face, my heart broke. I had slashes and cuts all over my face. I felt sick. I prayed and had faith God would heal most of them. I couldn't walk for the first 3-4 days. Than they started me in therapy basically teaching me how to walk again. I had to use a walker. 

  I had to use a walker to walk for the first 2 months. Than I went to crutches for 2 months and than one crutch for a month. I couldn't hold my daughter either when I was home. I hated having to just lay in bed and have everyone wait on me and take care of my daughter. My sister helped and she was a home nurse, so she cleaned my wounds and helped. I couldn't lift my daughter because it would have put strain on my pelvis. I had to get on pain medication for the back pain and the sciatic nerve that would shoot down my leg. It is horrible pain to have to deal with. 

 It was such a struggle dealing with back pain everyday and trying to chase my daughter around. I know it woke me up. I was doing cocaine and drinking every night. This accident woke me up. I could've left my daughter without a mother and I am so thankful to God that we didn't have her with us. We would always bring my daughter over there. His mom loved her and always played with her. So, thanks be to God that my mom watched her that night. I stopped cold turkey cocaine and alcohol. I hated being in pain. It made me miserable. I had to learn how to deal with it. The pain meds helped some. I always did aerobics and weight training and so I couldn't do that for awhile. When I got back into it though, I could tell it helped my pain. It was making me feel better so I stuck with doing it. 

  

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